Unpleasantries
by Chicken Nuggets
Summary: Conrad had taste, organisation, and standards. He wasn't even going to address Hanna's comment on the Doctor being keen on him, and while, as Hanna said, it did make getting food easier it was still an unpleasant chore to visit Doc Worth.
1. Chapter 1

**Characters:** Conrad, Doc Worth centric. Mentions of Hanna, and {...}  
**Summary:** An episode of Conrad's life.  
**Rating:** PG for language, and mild violence.  
**Notes:** If you squint very, very hard there might be some sexual tension. This will hopefully lead onto something else, more ConWorthy.  
I'm utterly pants at titles.

*

Conrad had taste, organisation, and standards. He prided himself on these facts, and would sneer from the weight of bad memories if anyone said his habits were the least bit obsessive compulsive, and after his life altering transformation into a vampire, months ago, he was glad he mostly worked from home, and lived alone so no one could make such a comment on the way he would meticulously make sure his condo was free of clutter.

Clutter had always unsettled Conrad, and the act of organisation was always calming to him. It wasn't that he was obsessive compulsive, he just knew there was a place for everything, and everything should be in it's place.

He was also glad that he rarely had visitors, and the ones he did have had the good grace to warn him of their intent to drop by hours, or even days in advance which gave him time to hide anything incriminating - like the medical bags of blood in his refrigerator. Hanna being a major exception to this, he would show up unannounched with his undead sidekick following behind, unsettle the careful arrangement of cushions on his couch, rifle through his mostly superfluous kitchen, and leave general disarray in his wake chattering all the while, and Conrad despite all his reluctant grumbling found he truly enjoyed the forced break from his work, and the relaxing distraction of cleaning up after the energetic redhead. He eventually started keeping long-life food items for the boy in his mostly superfluous kitchen when it started to look like Hanna was going to keep up his habit of random visits.

The one person in his newly acquired life he still had an aversion to was the uncertified, and in all probability mentally unstable, Doctor friend of Hanna's. It wasn't just his seedy location of residence, or his cluttered office that Conrad disliked about Doc Worth. There was also his unscrupulous grin, leering eyes, and insulting manner that managed to rankle Conrad. He wasn't even going to address Hanna's comment on the Doctor being _keen _on him, and while, as Hanna said, it did make getting food easier it was still an unpleasant chore to visit Doc Worth.

*

Conrad, paused outside the third door down the alley, collected his thoughts, and entered Doc Worth's office with the conviction that he wouldn't let anything Worth said, or did get to him.

His conviction lasted the whole of three minutes before the still uncomfortable surroundings, and Worth's verbal jabs combined to make him raise to the bait and snap back at the Doctor.

"I'm sure that if I didn't know you're just a complete dick by nature I'd think you were trying to make me punch you again." Conrad spouted, and with Worth's jibes he was wondering if maybe it would make him shut up.

"Ah! A prissy little Artfag like you couldn' kill a fly." Worth all but backhanded in his odd mash-up of British and Australian accent.

Conrad grit his teeth. No wonder he hated coming here for food. If he had any other choice he wouldn't. No longer putting up with Worth's disparaging comments Conrad clentched his fist, pulled back, and let off a right hook straight at Worth's face.

He found he was disturbed by seeing the look of a twisted smile, and fever bright eyes on the Doctor's face instead of pain, but quickly forgot about the unsettling sight as the scent of Worth's blood trickling from his nose distracted the vampire, catching himself emit a low keening sound he tried to cover it up by coughing hoping Worth wouldn't notice.

"You'll have to do more than that if you want the fresh stuff," Worth smirked.

He'd heard. Conrad's stomach sank.

"Although with that snaggle tooth of yours I doubt you really could."

"Yes, well, how about we don't find out, and you get me my blood?" Conrad was doing his best to take control of the conversation, and knew the faster he acquired the blood he needed the quicker he'd be home to neatly organise the blood by type, and maybe reorganise his socks and sweaters for good measure. Anything to distract himself from over-thinking about Worth.

Worth relented with a few unkind words and made to get the bagged blood.

Conrad found himself thinking the first time he'd punched the Doctor and the small taste of his blood he got. Making sure Worth's back was turned he looked down at his fist and brought it up to his mouth, licking off Worth's drying blood. The cloying taste of Worth's blood combined with the scent of it in the air and made Conrad hungry for more. He found himself calculating whether or not to ask if maybe Worth would let him taste a little bit more, or to just do what Worth seems to think him incapable of.

Unceremoniously, Worth placed a small cooler on his desk, with a bit more force than necessary, in front of Conrad causing him to startle out of his thoughts. Sizing the Doctor up Conrad realised if Worth actually stood straight the Doctor would be taller than him, but given his obvious lankiness he wouldn't be too hard to overcome.

"Somethin' you like?" Worth's tone was sardonic.

"Guh! You wish." Conrad spat back suddenly feeling offended, all thoughts of jumping Worth evaporated in disgust.

"Suit yer-self." Worth just shrugged in a way as if to say he truly didn't care how the vampire saw him. "If that's all I've got other patients to be seein'."

Thoroughly dismissed Conrad took his cooler of blood and didn't linger. The unpleasantness of the whole visit had rankled him enough to ensure that Conrad's condo would be rearranged, organised, and sparking clean by morning.

*


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes: **So this is just a short ficlet/chapter. I really don't know if this is going anywhere. I'm bad at making things go places.  
I also apologise for anything that doesn't make sense it's 3am here, and I only finished work at 1am.

*

Exhaling an exhausted sigh Conrad sat back in the overstuffed coffee shop couch to look over his recent project on his Macbook. There was something far too medically themed about it, again, and he wasn't pleased when he noticed.  
Scowling, Conrad saved his progress and opened a new file, not too pleased that he had to start from scratch considering he'd spent most of his evening working on it, but the thought of showing that to his client unsettled him. They'd hired him to design a company header which wasn't going as well for him as he'd like.

Rubbing at his temples, Conrad considered smacking his head on the table until he was unconscious - just to see if it'd help. He'd been having trouble since his last blood run getting the image of Worth's lecherous grin, and tweaked eyebrow out of his head; No amount of furniture arranging, or Hanna visits had done much to help because every time he drank the warmed up blood, which he no longer mentally pretended was tomato soup, the image of its source would rise fresh in his mind. Now he was painfully aware of how often he actually drank blood, and something about it slightly sickened the part of him that still made him order useless drinks just to feel normal when he went out.

Deciding it was a total bust and that some fresh air might do him some good, even if he didn't have to breathe any more, Conrad started to shut down, and pack up his gear. Looking at his untouched coffee he wondered if he could get one of the baristas to heat it up and put it in a take-away container for him; He wasn't going to drink it, but it'd be nice to warm his hands for a while.

Conrad doodled absently on a napkin as he waited at the counter for the overly happy girl serving him to microwave his coffee. He frowned when he realised he had just doodled a picture of Worth.  
"Sorry for the wait Sir." The peppy voice of the coffee shop girl cut through his fuming before he could have an aneurysm.  
"Oh, uh. No problem. Thanks." Conrad managed and took the coffee offered to him, using the napkin he'd drawn on as a barrier against the heat like all normal people do, and turned leave.

Bumping into someone on his way out Conrad turned to offer an apology, then noticed who he'd walked into. Of course it'd be him, Conrad thought, and was beginning to believe that he was cursed to be harrowed until the end of time by Worth.

"'Ey Pup, out for a drink?" Worth grinned and quirked an eyebrow as if to show how amusing he found Conrad's habit. Conrad wasn't sure if he could scowl any further, but he tried to.  
"No, I'm doing fucking charity." He snapped back shoving the coffee, napkin and all, at Worth.

Conrad, far to busy fuming and ranting at himself about sardonic fake Doctors with weird accents, didn't realise what he'd done until he was all the way home and inside his condo which was beginning to seem less and less welcoming and more medically sterile the more Worth got under his skin.

"Oh, fuck." He intoned and banged the back of his head against the door.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes:** I've managed to break away from my crippling FFXI addiction to produce another short instalment. I _think _I know where the next chapter will go, but we'll see what that falls out. Sorry for the wait, and many thanks to those who've reviewed, favourited, or added this to their alerts.

*

Conrad wouldn't admit it out loud because he had a sneaking suspicion that he _was_ overreacting, but he was avoiding Worth and had been for about a week insofar.

Rationally he knew if he didn't act like it was a big deal it wouldn't be, and he could easily brush off Worth's new arsenal of insults - and _that's_ only if Worth even noticed the drawing.

Despite all his irrationality he knew he'd have to see Worth soon to get a new supply of blood, and wanting to put it off as long as he could he was now trying to rope Hanna into being a middleman; Hanna being the busy-body that he was kept prodding Conrad for more information on why he didn't want to go see his Doctor friend while wearing the same amused expression on his face like that time in the bar which said he knew more than he was letting on.

Conrad was beginning to wonder if his Mother was right after all and there was something wrong with his mind, was he this paranoid of people when he was alive?

"It's not that I _don't _want to see Worth," Conrad wheedled. "I'm simply just too busy at the moment."

Hanna just stared at him with an unbelieving expression; For someone who looked and acted like a fifteen year old Hanna could put on a scarily serious face sometimes. Conrad could almost see the gears turning inside Hanna's head as he was obviously re-thinking his strategy which put Conrad more on edge.

"You know," Hanna began with sly look on his face. "Worth said to say thanks for the coffee." Conrad didn't miss the raised eyebrow, or the fact that Hanna had just revealed what would be a winning hand in poker if they were playing the game.

"I highly doubt Worth said to say thanks." Conrad replied crossing his arms in front of his chest begrudgingly conceding.

"Not in so many words... You just gotta know how to read him." Hanna smiled helpfully making Conrad want to know how Hanna could filter the numerous obscenities that flew out of Worth's mouth into something as pleasant as "Thanks for the coffee."

Conrad's sour expression did little to soften the over-happy look on Hanna's face. After all he had just confirmed something, he wasn't wholly sure what, to Hanna, and knowing the mad as a hatter mind that Hanna had he probably wasn't wasting time jumping to conclusions.

"Look, if I pay you will you at least just do it this once?" Conrad felt like he was almost pleading with the younger man.

Hanna's 'gnee' of a response was unexpected, was he excited because of the prospect of getting paid, or did Conrad just admit something else unknown to him? Sighing Conrad realised if he found Hanna hard enough to read he'd have no hope with Worth. Not that he wanted to be able to read Worth any which way.

"Alright," Hanna started after he sobered a bit. "Just this once, but..." Hanna almost leered at Conrad. "Are you maybe a little _keen_ on Worth?"

"What? No!" Conrad, vehemently denying such a thing, looked taken aback. Neither his protestation, nor his facial expression did anything to lessen the massive grin on Hanna's face which really pissed Conrad off. "Gah!" he cried out in exasperation storming out of the living room and into his office; Hanna may not believe him, but he really did have a tonne of work that he needed to do and he knew Hanna could let himself out when he was done grinning and gnee-ing over whatever illogical, and unfathomable things that went through his head.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes:** This was actually originally supposed to be it's own thing, but then it decided it wanted to be a part of Unpleasantries. Sorry to be leaving you in the lurch again. I'll try to get this to a decent place I swear. Also, as far as I know I made up Worth being a scout, and I mean no offence to anyone who is/was a scout by calling them gay.  
Thanks to everyone who's favourited, commented, or put this on alerts.

*

If asked, Conrad would tell you this wasn't exactly how he planned his life to turn out, although he doubted anyone planned for having their condo taken over by a vampire in bat form only to get killed by said vampire when the paranormal investigator you hired broke a curse on them to turn them back into their human form, and then have the paranormal investigator turn you into a vampire.

Some adjustments were easier than others, being a freelance graphic designer meant he could easily take conference calls, or arrange personal consultations at his condo in the late afternoon/early evening.

Shopping was easy enough since you can buy pretty much everything online.

Something he didn't think about until he needed one were repairmen. From his limited previous experience with them he knew it was hard enough to get a hold of them in the day time, and he quickly found getting one in the middle of the night was pretty much impossible.

So peeved, and loaded like a pack mule Conrad found himself at the closest Laundromat to his condo. Back when he was alive he never dreamed of using a Laundromat, especially late at night; All the people he'd seen in them so late were always pretty seedy looking.

When he arrived to the deserted, echoing place he wasn't sure if the seedy looking people would make it more or less uninviting than it seemed right now.

Trying his best not to think about it Conrad attacked his laundry with as much vigour as he could muster, sorting and loading his clothing items into the machines.

Once he had everything set and the machines running Conrad sat across one of the benches, back against the wall, feet up, and Macbook on his lap; He brought it along with him because he figured he may as well get some work done while he waited for his washing to get done.

*

"Ha! Do ya ever go any where wivout that thing?" Came a crackled voice from the doorway.

Of course it figured that the first person Conrad would see in this is Worth. God, or whoever was in charge of everything, obviously hated him. _'Please, please, please don't mention the coffee shop.'_ Conrad repeated to himself like a mantra.

"Considering what I do for a living I find it convenient to have it with me," Conrad finally said with a patronising tone. "And if you don't mind some of us have a real job to be doing so go away."

"Tch. The world don' revolve around you yer know." Worth baited, and held up a dingy sack. "Got some laundry to do."

Snorting, Conrad raised an eyebrow. "I find it hard t believe you even know how to was clothes."

"An' I find it so gratifying that you've deigned us mere mortals wiv yer presence in our humble Laundromat." Worth gibed. "Always 'ad you pegged fer a dry-cleaner kinda guy."

"Not for everything, no." To anyone else Conrad's short reply would mean that he had things to do and would prefer less chit-chat, but Worth of course took it to mean the complete opposite.

"Oh, an' you don't 'ave a machine of yer own?"

"Of course I bloody do, it's fucking broken. Have you tried getting a repairman at this time of night?" Conrad snapped wishing the uncertified Doctor would just shut up and wash his clothes in silence, and hating himself for raising to the bait, yet again.

"Better watch you don' break that." Worth pointed out Conrad's current death grip on his Macbook. "I'd imagine all yer yuppie fag gadgets ain't cheap."

"Can't you just fucking shut up?!" Worth's gleeful grin at Conrad's outburst just irritated him more, and Conrad set about doing his best to ignore the commentary Worth provided while he loaded his own laundry into the spare machines. He was doing quite well, that is, until Worth sat down on the bench next to him, and looked him over.

"What?" Conrad begrudgingly grumbled.

"Ye know it's a bit rude t' sit wiv yer feet on the seats."

Conrad couldn't believe what he was hearing. He was getting told by the rudest person he'd ever met that he was being rude. "I find it incredulous that you of all people are giving me a lecture on rude behaviour. I bet you just said that cause you can't sit with your feet up."

This caused the Doctor to double over with laughter. Conrad found Worth's laugh to be an unnerving cackle that you were never sure was aimed at you, what you said, or both.

"Yer alright pup." Worth said when he was more under control and swung his legs up across the bench alongside Conrad's, causing the young vampire to shift a bit in a futile attempt to not be touching Worth in anyway.

They settled into and awkward kind of silence only caused by one person trying to pretend the other doesn't exist and that their legs aren't touching, and the other being utterly amused by it all.

*

There was a scuffle of movement as Conrad found a place to sit his Macbook and clear his legs of Worth's when his washing finished and he went to load it into the dryer.

While Conrad was occupied on the farther end of the room Work had a look over what was up on the his screen.

"Are ya sure you needed this for work?" Worth asked, noting that Conrad had been playing freecell. "It's not some sort of fag security blanket or nufin'?"

"I finished my commission." Conrad rolled his eyes. "Don't you dare mess up my game."

"Heh, easy princess." Worth's tone told Conrad he was laughing at him. "Wouldn' dream of it. Scout's honour an' everythin'."

"Scouts honour. Ha!" Conrad muttered. "I find that hard to believe."

"Was in the scouts when I was a kid." Worth's voice coming from right behind him had startled Conrad, he hadn't heard Worth move. "Nice underwear."

"Would you stop that?" Conrad snapped snatching a pair of black boxer-briefs out of Worth's hands. "I'll probably have to re-wash these now."

Undeterred, and ignoring all Conrad's protestations Worth kept looking through Conrad's washing making comments on his clothing style.

"An' you say yer not gay." Worth said looking over a hot pink t-shirt that had an Isopod saying 'I feel pretty' on the front.

"You're too damn stupid to get the humour," Conrad snapped tugging the shirt out of his hands. "And you're not one to talk, you were in the scouts."

"Wot about the scouts?" Worth said in a mock offended way.

"Oh please, boys in the woods, those tiny shorts, what's not gay about the scouts?"

"Never said it wasn't gay," Worth had a grin like the cheshire cat. "Learnt a few innaresting things in th' scouts." He added, crowding Conrad.

"Uh, really? Well, that's. That's nice." Conrad stammered, feeling trapt with only a hot pink t-shirt to protect him.

"Learnt a few good tricks wiv a knife," Worth's breath ghosted over Conrad's face. "An' I learnt how to tie knots tha' no-one could get out of."

Conrad found himself floundering. Not only had what Worth said caused a weirdly familiar tug of feeling in his lower abdomen, but for some crazy reason he wanted Worth to do it again; Naturally he'd prefer someone else, but Worth was what he had at the moment. At least, that's what he told himself when he shifted the angle of his face and his lips brushed against Worth's stubbled cheek and found the older man's dry lips.

It was at this point Conrad wasn't really sure what to do next, and he was sure Worth knew it, and could easily deduce why. Conrad had never wanted to kiss anyone before, he didn't even really realise until he'd just done it that he had wanted to kiss Worth, so naturally he'd never actually dated anyone, not that he had much time for that with how often his Mother dragged him to the Doctors. _'Oh god,'_ he panicked. _'This isn't some sort of childhood trauma thing is it?'_

Conrad quickly pulled away from Worth, wide-eyed and bewildered, stammered some sort of apology and left Worth holding his t-shirt; Abandoning his laundry and Macbook as he fled.


End file.
